New year and I’m back to (medical) school. I’ve been back since last September but my laziness and forgetfulness means I’m only just getting round to writing about it now!
So I’m back and in my fourth year of medicine. The curriculum’s changed, the medical school dean has left, and there’s no longer the dreaded logbook. The re-start was both (sort of) exciting and nerve-wracking. Having been out for 9 months, my clinical skills were rough around the edges and my medical knowledge probably wasn’t as sharp as it should be. I was lucky enough to start on a rotation that didn’t involve too much learning of brand new medicine; it was actually a good refresher of things I should already know ..which turned out to be not a lot.
The first term was tough to be honest. Trying to get back into the swing of things wasn’t easy. I was back to being a medical student, which was nice as my time was more flexible and I could do what I wanted, but it also meant I had to be a medical student. That meant trailing round after doctors and trying to be useful and learn something. Not always easy when some doctors clearly don’t want you there or think you’re some kind of idiot. That’s the downside to being out for so long – I forgot what being a medical student was actually like.
The usual pre-christmas, mid-winter, stress breakdown occurred sometime in November. I could feel it brewing and it was the same as it was a year earlier: feelings of hating medical school, medicine, and anything related to either. Turns out I was just so desperate to finish medical school, I’d worked myself up into a frenzy. By the time I graduate, I will have been here for a total of 7 years, which is a long time to be in one institution. It’s actually the exact amount of time I spent in secondary school(!) That freaked me out and I wanted to quit. Having had the taste of being financially independent and earning a steady income, coming back was like a balloon being burst. I was desperate to fast forward the next 18 months.
Anyway, I’m back regardless and I’ve got to finish. No more breakdowns (except maybe around exams), just keep ploughing away until my finals this time next year. In almost exactly 12 months time, I will have finished my exams and I’ll know soon after if I’ve passed. Just 12 months to go. 12 months.